Lesson #4 | I am here today because of others

Grief, illness, pain are such intimate experiences. My year of cancer was such a paradox. Deep aloneness with the elation of endless support.

In my psychology studies as a young undergrad I had learnt that having support is the variable that has the highest impact on the quality of an illness experience, if not the outcome. So as soon as I got the diagnosis I got to telling my community. No secrets. As my father always says, you know how you go into a war, but not how you come out. I was going to need all the help I could get. I just didn’t know what help I’d need.

And it was the year of love. I had a friend who had her church pray for me; the whole year 3 parent group started a roster and we did not cook one meal; kids were picked up for soccer; teachers took verbal notes when mum forgot to send excursion notes. I had cleaners come regularly thanks to my dad. My friends stayed close. Held me in my dark places. Climbed into bed with me when I cried. Listened to doctors for me so that we heard accurately. Laughed with me when we partied in the chemo sessions (steroids make you so hungry). They took me to radiotherapy when I was too sick to drive. They helped me prepare for lectures when I was too scared to go back to work. They made sure I got ice with every meal to make the food bearable. They put kids to bed and cleaned the kitchen. They celebrated my hair returning.

There was more.

Beyond my people I want to mention the doctors, nurses, psychologists, geneticists, researchers. The people who made sure I would be here today. The researchers, that are looking for a cure. The science that kept me here. Medicare that made sure I didn’t have to think about money when I was fighting to live.

You see, I am here today because of others. I received fanatical support. That is the world I would like to live in. That is the world I hope I am working to create. Not one of them could do it all – but together… they did it perfectly.